The Back Story…
The other day I was out and about and I saw a few men glance at me. On that day, I was dressed to impress and my makeup and hair were slayed for the gods. Although I saw several men glance at me, no one actually approached me. So I thought maybe I had something in my teeth or on my face because I just knew I was looking like a tall glass of water and they were thirsty. Well I decided to check myself in the mirror to fix whatever flaw was keeping these men from approaching me but there was nothing wrong. So the obvious conclusion that I drew was that I just had to be ugly because there was no other explanation right? Well I decided to ask my male friend if I was ugly so I could accept my fate because I needed to know. Immediately, he just started laughing in my face and I sat there in confusion because all these years I thought I was cute but his laughter was confirming that I was in fact unattractive. He finally stopped laughing and started talking.
Him: “Ash, you are far from ugly. Why would you ask me some craziness like that?”
Me: “Well obviously I’m ugly because no one approaches me anymore.”
Him: “It’s hard for men to approach women like you.”
Me: “Say what now? Women like me? What’s that supposed to mean” *I say with the stank face*
Him: “Ash you’re no easy target. Depending on where you were, most men want something easy. They want a woman they can get in bed quick or someone who won’t require work. You look like you require work which isn’t a bad thing at all. The right men will approach you so just be thankful that you don’t get approached much.”
Me:”Hmm, good to know I still got the juice.”
The Reality…
So how many women reading this have felt like something must be wrong with you because you don’t get approached much? How many of you want to slap the next person that tells that you’re lying because you’re so great you just have to get approached a lot? Yep…me too. For a long time I would get frustrated because I wasn’t getting approached as much as I felt I should. Especially those times when I took the extra mile to look my best but still left a party or event with no prospects for my future husband. But after talking to my male friend, he made me realize that men don’t typically approach women like me. Aside from my resting bitch face, I also have a very confident demeanor. This coupled with having a blog that encourages women not to be fooled by their male counterparts makes me come off as a pretty tough candidate. Although the belief about me being this head strong, non-submissive woman is totally false, I would rather be viewed as that than some gullible floozy. What my male friend was saying is that in many situations, men will approach the easy target for a few reasons…
- They fear rejection.
- They feel you’re out of their league.
- They know their weak playa lines won’t work on you and they need something quick and easy.
The Strategy…
Contrary to popular belief, men don’t just stupidly approach every woman. There is a strategy in mind and it usually depends on these things…
What’s the setting:
Most of the time, if it is a bar or a lounge and you aren’t a gullible floozy, men won’t approach you too quickly. These kinds of atmospheres are very sexually driven so if you’re not DTF then most likely a man doesn’t want you. Unless you’re looking for a cut buddy then you should appreciate the fact that you’re not being approached because most likely, men only want one thing from you. This doesn’t apply to everyone because I am aware that some relationships have occurred from bar introductions but in most cases, men are in search for sex so not being approached is a good thing.
Where they are in life:
If a man isn’t interested in a relationship, he won’t approach wife-material. I know many women believe they can make a man want a relationship or marriage just by being a good woman but it is false but that’s a story for another day. But if a man is looking for something serious and he sees a woman who is a “challenge”, he will approach you because he is ready for that. Now don’t get it twisted, there are still some men out there who live to break down a woman he sees as a “challenge” just to feed his ego so beware of men like this. But just because you aren’t getting approached by the cutie in the grocery store who gave you googly eyes doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. He could just not be ready for a woman like you.
He prefers an easy woman:
I have tons of male friends and I listen to countless amounts of male conversations. In these conversations I have learned that some men don’t like strong women. Some men prefer “yes women” who are very chill and don’t put up a fight with anything. If you are like me and you come off as the opposite of a silent sista then men like this won’t approach you.
After understanding a little bit more about how men think, I hope you appreciate not being approached now. By not being approached, you avoid a lot of bafoolery from men who only want to ruin life anyway. So stop thinking that you aren’t pretty enough or you aren’t fit enough or funny enough, some men just don’t approach women like you.
