5 Signs He Thinks You’re NOT Good Enough


Growing up, I had low self-esteem. This came about from not really having much attention or validation at home. My father was never present and my mom was emotionally unavailable. I lived my teenage years through early adult life feeling like I wasn’t “good enough“. This manifested in dating because I would self-sabotage relationships when I felt like a guy was “out of my league”. If I felt that he was more popular, more attractive, or had a better background then I would tell myself that he would never take me seriously. It was a miserable feeling that I thankfully got over.

Sometimes, not feeling “good enough” can be a false internal feeling. Other times, it can actually come from how someone makes you feel due to what they believe about you. In my past, most of those feelings were internal but I did come across some men who in fact didn’t think I was “good enough” to be taken seriously.

Many men have a tendency to compartmentalize women. When they meet a woman, they tell themselves if she is going in the friend compartment, sex compartment, friend with benefits compartment, or possible wife department. I always wanted to be in the possible wife compartment but I landed in the friends with benefits and sex compartment on quite a few occasions.

This was an awful feeling because I already felt not “good enough“. I was genuinely confused. I didn’t know whether to believe the lie or to just learn to love myself more and decipher which guys to entertain based on how they compartmentalized me.

Soon, I realized that I had to see value within myself first and then learn to discern who was for me and who wasn’t. The thing is, how a man compartmentalizes you has very little to do with you so don’t be offended. Here are 5 signs that he thinks you’re NOT “good enough”.

5) He doesn’t talk about a future with you…

You would think this one is obvious but it’s not. Many women think men who don’t open up about their future are just afraid of commitment or scared to be emotional too soon. That’s a bunch of sugar-coated cow manure. If a man wants a future with you, he will talk about it to you and include you in his future. If every time you mention family or marriage he automatically changes the subject or laughs, he has no intention of making you his lady, like ever.

4) He doesn’t include you in major holidays …

Has he ever purchased a Christmas gift for you? Does he invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner? Does he even mention that it’s Valentine’s Day or does he avoid it and act like he doesn’t know it’s a holiday? You’re probably rationalizing right now and saying “Well we’re not official so he doesn’t have to do those things?” He doesn’t have to but if he wanted you, he would. Be honest with yourself and see it with clear eyes, not rose-colored glasses.

3) He says “you can leave”…

Have you ever argued with him and he said something along the lines of “I mean, if you don’t like it you know you can leave right?” That is a big, red flashing sign that he thinks you’re not good enough. Any man not willing to fight for you doesn’t value you or what you bring to the table. Take this as instruction and leave.

2) He is egotistical…

Beyonce has a great song called Ego where she brags about her man’s big ego. The song is cute but big egos are NOT. Men who lead with their ego tend to be misogynistic. They don’t see women as their equal, they see us as a means to an end. They think we are here to cook or clean or for sex or for all of the above. If a man has a big ego, he really doesn’t see any woman as “good enough” unless she is willing to bow down and submit to him. It’s sad that men like this still exist but be on alert for these kinds of men.

1)Your happiness isn’t a priority …

Now this one is about to bring perspective into someone’s life today. Are you constantly trying to prove to him how dope you are as a person? So much so that you don’t even know if you’re happy anymore because you’re so worried about if he’s happy with you? If your happiness is no longer a priority because you’re too worried about how he feels about you then, he definitely doesn’t think you’re “good enough“.


It sucks to feel unvalued. That doesn’t have to be your truth though. Use this as a guide to avoiding men who make you feel less than the beautiful and worthy woman that you are. The best way to combat this is to understand your own value so you never have to question it. Affirm yourself daily by telling yourself you are worthy and beautiful. If you have deeper roots to dig up, consider therapy to help you. The end goal is to feel great about who you are so you never question if you’re “good enough“.