10 Questions to Ask Instead of WYD


We all hate the consistent “WYD?” dead end text message. Everyone has that one boring person who texts us every single day just to ask “WYD?” with no follow up. I’ve had men call me crazy for being annoyed by this. But honestly, it isn’t the contents of the text that annoys me; it is the expectation. If I ask someone what they are doing, I am usually asking because I want to meet up with that person or to initiate a meaningful conversation. But these “WYD?” bandits have no intent to meet up or have a meaningful conversation, they literally just want to waste your unlimited text messages by repetitively asking “WYD?”.

Now I am not naive, I do know why some men do it. I have had several conversations with close male friends to crack the code on this mystery and the answer has often been “because we’re bored.” There are men who send mass “WYD?” texts because they are bored. They could care less about what you are doing, they just want to pass time by wasting your time. If you’re like me, you’re not going for it. But this post isn’t for those men, it’s for the people who genuinely want to know questions to ask instead of WYD.

For the people who are actually interested in someone but you have no clue how to start an interesting conversation after “WYD?”, I am here to help you. I was watching this Youtube video by Dr. Tracy Marks on how to have a deep conversation. She separated questions into appetizers, entrees, and desserts. That is exactly how I am going to separate these questions. Here are 10 questions to ask instead of wyd.

Appetizer Questions

These are questions for people you just met and you’re trying to figure them out. These questions scratch the surface but can still lead to a meaningful conversations if you follow up. The key to every single question on this list is to follow up. Never give a close ended response, always ask another question to keep the conversation going.

1)How’s your heart today?

2) Did life teach you something new today?

3)What was the highlight of your day?

4) When was the last time you smiled?

5)What show are you binge watching right now?

Entree’ Questions

These questions go a little deeper. This is when you have spent a little more time and you guys are comfortable with one another. I wouldn’t advise you to start here because these require trust. But again, the key to the game is to always follow up.

6) What makes you unique?

7) How do you decompress and refuel?

8) Are you close to being what you wanted to be when you grew up?

9) What are 5 things on your bucket list?

10) What is your greatest childhood memory? 

Dessert Questions

These are bonus questions. Once you’ve built a rapport and you know you like this person and you’re ready to take action on some of the things you’ve discovered. Don’t get this deep just because you’re bored. Go here only when you know you want something serious.

What’s your love language?

How were you shown love as a child?

When are you the most vulnerable?

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