I used to be extremely male-centered. Yes, me. I know it sounds crazy because I’m so confident and sure of myself now, but that came from years of self-work. Back then, I allowed men to mistreat me. I dressed and did my hair for the male gaze. I constantly felt inadequate just because I was single.
One of the first steps I took to reverse this mindset was becoming single on purpose.
Removing men from my life intentionally was the first power move that increased my self-worth. It taught me that I am enough,with or without a man. No, this doesn’t mean I want to be single forever; I still desire marriage to the man God has for me. But it does mean I’ve learned to value my own time, embrace solitude, and no longer need male attention to validate me. I now dress how I want, cut off bare minimum men without hesitation, and never settle for crumbs. And it all began with choosing to be single on purpose.
What Does “Single on Purpose” Mean?
It means intentionally stepping away from dating and romantic relationships to focus on yourself. The reasons vary: maybe you need to prioritize your career or raising your kids, maybe dating has drained you, or maybe you simply enjoy your own company. Whatever the reason, more women are realizing that being single on purpose is a choice and it’s one that brings freedom.
My Reason Behind Being Single on Purpose
As a retired hopeless romantic, I’ve always loved love. I’ve been a “lover girl” my entire life. But unfortunately, I didn’t have much luck in the love department. I wasn’t taught how to date, what to avoid, or even told I was pretty until high school. Insecurity followed me, and with no guidance, I stumbled through dating clueless and hurt.
By my mid-20s, I realized the only way to rebuild my self-worth and rediscover who I truly was meant to be was to step away and choose to be single on purpose.
How to Start the Journey
1. Make the decision
Change begins with a choice. Decide that this is what you’re doing, and wake up each day recommitting to that decision.
2. Understand your why
Your “why” is what will carry you through the hard days. Write it down, revisit it, and stay grounded in it.
3. Set a goal
Being single on purpose doesn’t have to be forever. For me, it was about rebuilding my confidence and discernment so that when I returned to dating, I’d do so from a place of strength. Your goal should reflect your why, whether it’s healing, learning how to date in a healthier way, or simply creating space for yourself.
4. Commit
The hardest part is sticking with it. Discomfort is part of growth, but that’s when you double down. Don’t quit halfway through the process. Commit until you’ve become the version of yourself you set out to be.
Conclusion
Choosing to be single on purpose isn’t about rejecting love forever, it’s about reclaiming your time, your peace, and your worth. It’s about pressing pause on the chaos of dating so you can reset, heal, and come back stronger.
If you’ve been drained by situationships, frustrated with dating, or simply tired of feeling like love keeps costing you your peace, maybe it’s time for your own reset. That’s exactly why I created the 21 Day Man Fast, a guided break that helps you unplug from toxic patterns, reconnect with yourself, and rediscover the joy of being whole without needing anyone else to complete you.
Ready to experience it for yourself? Start your 21 Day Man Fast today and step into the most confident, grounded version of you.
