How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex (Even When You Still Miss Them)

Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. Healing only comes from intentional actions in the right direction. If you’ve spent your nights stalking your ex’s social media or scrolling through your old couple’s photo album on repeat, years can go by, and you’ll still feel stuck.

I want you to free yourself from that cycle and finally rid your mind of your ex. Here’s how to stop thinking about your ex for good.

Unfollow Them on Social Media

You don’t need to know what they’re doing or who they’re with if your goal is to move on. Most people stay connected to their ex online as a way of “keeping tabs,” but that usually means there’s still a part of you hoping they’ll come back.

The truth is, every like, scroll, or story view keeps you emotionally tied to someone you’re trying to release. Do yourself a favor and mute, unfollow, or block. Think of it as an act of self-care, not punishment.

Go No Contact (And Stick to It!)

No-contact is the most effective breakup strategy there is. I personally believe in blocking completely, but if you’re not quite strong enough yet, at least stop reaching out and answering calls.

You can’t heal if you’re still fueling the connection. Imagine trying to heal from a burn while continuing to touch the stove, it just doesn’t work. Every conversation with your ex resets the clock on your healing.

Think About the Bad

Why did you break up?

It’s human nature to only remember the highlight reel when you miss someone; the vacations, the sweet texts, the way they made you laugh. But nostalgia is tricky; it filters out the very reasons you left.

Maybe they weren’t consistent. Maybe they lied. Maybe you wanted different futures. Remind yourself of those truths when your mind starts romanticizing the past. That’s what keeps you grounded in reality instead of lost in fantasy.

Sit With the Discomfort

Breakups feel awful. There’s no sugarcoating that. That’s why so many people try the “gradual letting go” method. They keep communication open, casually check in, or let their ex swing by to pick up something they “forgot.”

But here’s the thing: that slow fade just prolongs your pain.

If you cut it clean and sit in the discomfort, the grief doesn’t last forever. It passes. What could have been a pit stop in your healing journey can quickly turn into a permanent detour if you don’t commit to moving forward.

Remember, There Is Better Out There

Many people stay stuck on their ex because they believe that was the best relationship they’ll ever have. But if that relationship was truly the best, you’d still be in it.

Holding onto an ex blocks you from the possibility of someone who is actually right for you. Someone who communicates better. Loves better. Chooses you every single day.

You don’t have to settle for what broke you.

Conclusion

If you truly apply these strategies, the thoughts of your ex will begin to fade. I can’t promise you a timeframe because healing looks different for everyone. But I can promise it’ll happen much faster if you commit to these steps instead of doing the opposite.

If you’re ready for a deeper guide, my ebook How to X Your Ex: A Guide to Getting Past Unhealthy Relationships breaks it all down step by step. In it, I explain the psychology behind why no-contact works, why blocking is the best option, and why trying to stay “friends” too soon often sabotages your healing.

You may be able to speak to your ex one day, but during your healing process is not that time. This season is about you.

Grab the book today if you’re ready to finally let go and take your life back.