I know firsthand what daddy issues feel like.
I was four years old when the man who was supposed to love me unconditionally walked out. He didn’t die or fall ill, he just simply chose to be absent from my life. That day changed me. I stopped asking about him, stopped mentioning him, and decided to move through life as if he never existed.
That’s where my daddy issues began.
Daddy issues aren’t just about growing up without a father. They stem from a broken emotional bond between a father and child through absence, neglect, abuse, or inconsistency.
A father’s love teaches a daughter how to view herself and how to be loved by men. Without that example, it’s easy to internalize rejection, question your worth, and repeat unhealthy relationship patterns.
Let’s look at five common signs of daddy issues in women and how to overcome them.
Because my dad left so early, I never experienced what it felt like to be loved by a man. So, when I started dating, I mistook attention for love. If a man liked me, I wanted to dive in headfirst.
If you meet someone and instantly start imagining the future, you may be trying to fill that missing space your father left. The need to move quickly comes from a deep desire to feel chosen and secure, something you didn’t get as a child.
Contrary to popular belief, a man is not supposed to be your everything. If he’s your everything, then if he leaves, that means you’ll have nothing. Have you ever seen the movie Why Did I Get Married? (Spoiler Alert) Jill Scott’s character is left devastated after her husband leaves her for her best friend. She said, “He was my everything, I have nothing without him.” If you feel incomplete and completely anxious when you lose connection with the guy you’re with, then this is a sign of daddy issues.
I used to spiral when a man didn’t respond within hours. I’d cry, overthink, and assume the worst. But the truth is, no one can make you whole. Depending on a man to heal what your father broke is setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you meet a man on Monday and want him to confess his love by Friday, that’s a red flag. This comes from abandonment schema, the fear that everyone you love will leave.
To protect yourself, you cling tighter, wanting reassurance early on. But love built on fear isn’t real security; it’s panic in disguise.
Your friends, your mom, and even strangers tell you you’re beautiful, but it only feels real when a man says it. I lived that truth for years.
Validation from men becomes addictive because it temporarily fills the emptiness your father left. But external approval fades fast. True validation comes from knowing who you are, not from who notices you.
If you constantly jump from one relationship to another, you may be avoiding yourself.
You tell yourself you’re “done dating,” but the next time someone shows interest, you give in, hoping this time it’ll work. But using relationships to fill emotional voids only deepens them.
Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the biggest steps toward healing.
For years, I convinced myself I was fine without my dad. I told myself I didn’t need him, that I was strong enough to move on. But deep down, I felt the emptiness. God doesn’t make mistakes. If we weren’t meant to need a father’s love, He wouldn’t have created families that way. When that love is missing, a void forms, and we often try to fill it with the wrong things.
I filled mine with attention, relationships, and distractions, but none of it worked. Eventually, I had to admit the truth: it wasn’t my fault my father left, but it was my responsibility to heal.
Even though a person caused the pain, no one else can fix it. No relationship, no validation, no “perfect” partner can heal what’s broken inside. I had to stop looking for love to fill that space and start doing the work myself. Healing meant realizing peace doesn’t come from others, it comes from within and from God.
When I turned 29, I finally stopped running from the hurt. I started therapy, read everything I could, and allowed myself to grieve what I lost. I cried watching TV shows where fathers loved their daughters because I missed something I never had.
Maybe your story looks different, maybe your dad was present but distant, angry, or critical. Whatever your version of “absent” is, it’s okay to admit that it hurt. I used to think acknowledging the pain let him off the hook, but it didn’t. It just meant I stopped letting it control me.
Recognizing pain is one thing; healing is another. You can’t just face the wound, you have to treat it. I leaned on God, therapy, mentors, and my church community. Healing didn’t happen overnight, but every time I chose to face my pain, I took another step toward peace.
If you’re in a relationship, it’s okay to lean on your partner, but remember, they can’t do the work for you. The real healing happens between you and God. It takes time, but every layer you release brings you closer to freedom.
You can’t change your past, but you can change how it defines you. When you face the pain, own your worth, and stop chasing love from broken places, you begin to heal.
You deserve freedom, wholeness, and love without fear, and it starts with choosing you.
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