Where Is Your Relationship Heading? | Single Women Chronicles

Where Is Your Relationship Heading?

by Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash

“In most cases, I see people who are in relationships headed absolutely nowhere but they’ve become so addicted to the comfort of being in the relationship that they refuse to take the risk of leaving so they just stay.” 

This is a dreaded question that so many of us don’t like to hear because it usually comes at the wrong time. People like to ask this question when you’re still trying to figure it out, you haven’t made anything official yet, or you’re in a bad place in your relationship and not really sure what to do. Then boom, you get asked this awkward question of where the relationship is heading or, if you’re like me, you aske this awkward question. I am allergic to gray areas so I can’t do this millennial thing where you just let it flow. I have to know if we are on the same page going the same pace with the same relationship goals because I am dating for marriage. Now does this mean that every date I go on is a husband interview? Absolutely not. I actually have a lot of fun on dates and I don’t overthink them. But I do feel that at some point in the early dating stages, goals of where the relationship is going should be discussed. It’s sad that we live in a society that we will set a location in our GPS so we can get to the right location and we’ll have vision board parties to write down our life goals but theres a stigma behind setting goals for where the relationship is going. But that’s a story for another day. Let’s get into what this post is about because I believe there are a few places your relationships can be going. 

Nowhere?

So this is the first and most brutal one that you need to be prepared for. But to be honest, I talk to a lot of people who are in this stage. Whether it be a sudden realization that you’re the one who doesn’t want the relationship to go any further, or whether it be the bull dozer that you’re hit with when your partner says they don’t want to keep the relationship going. In most cases, I see people who are in relationships headed absolutely nowhere but they’ve become so addicted to the comfort of being in the relationship that they refuse to take the risk of leaving so they just stay. If that sounds like you, please don’t feel bad because it happens to most of us. It could be a result of growing apart or realizing that this isn’t the person you thought you fell in love with because you began to learn more about them the longer you stayed with them. So if you’re reading this and realizing you’re the one who wants the relationship to go nowhere, it may be time to make that tough decision. Staying in a bad relationship is like sitting in a car with no gas; everything is operating but you’re still going absolutely nowhere. It’s hard to walk away from relationships but trust me, the happiness and peace on the other side is well worth the pain of removing yourself now. 

Happily Ever After

If your relationship is heading towards happily ever after, then you’re in for the best time of your life. Happily ever after usually begins with plans of marriage, and it might be that you’ve recently been proposed to, and made the happiest person in the world. Marriage with the right person truly is a blessing, and the preparation is such a whirlwind, it can often fly by in an instant. If you are planning your wedding at the moment, you need to think about enjoying all of the little details. From one of the first things that you’ll think about, such as the wedding invitations, to the dress shopping you’ll get to do with your best friends and family. Using help such as Pure invitation wedding invites will get you the best look for your invitations, and having a look at bridal inspiration online will help you to find the best look for you, before you even get to the dress shop. It will all fly by in an instant, so make sure you’re making the most of every minute. You also need to make sure that you’re working hard at your relationship. Although happily ever after sounds like a dream come true, it’s going to take a lot of hard work and commitment to actually make that come true. The goal isn’t getting married, it’s staying married and that takes work. 

“It’s hard to walk away from relationships but trust me, the happiness and peace on the other side is well worth the pain of removing yourself now.” 

Around The World

In the words of City Girls, you’re about to get “flewed out”. This is one of the best places of a relationship, when you begin to travel together. It’s a time to truly learn who your partner is and how much fun you can actually have with them.Hopefully both of you have a passion for traveling because that’ll make planning trips easier because you’ll both be willing to put more money towards saving for your trips. I hear people say “But I don’t have money to travel” and that’s just not true. We all spend our money on what we love and if you love to travel, that’s where your money is going. All it takes is the two of you to be in a agreement and make a plan and then the trip will happen. I’ve learned that traveling isn’t very expensive at all. Using websites like Google flights or Southwest fare calendar to compare rates and the best days to travel is the beginning to an affordable trip. It doesn’t take rocket science or a whole lot of money, just two people in a agreement and a plan. 

A Baby In Tow

If you are dealing with an unexpected pregnancy or a planned one, congratulations! Although I am an advocate of marriage before pregnancy, I understand that things happen and some people just don’t want marriage. I was raised by a single mom and I turned out amazing so it’s definitely not the end of the world. All babies are a blessing and should be seen as such. But if you’re not really ready for a baby or you’re feeling pressure to speed up the relationship just because you’re pregnant…just stop. Take a moment to breathe and really figure it out. Be open and honest with your partner so you can figure out how you’re going to raise this baby in a happy and healthy environment. Forcing a relationship to work just because you have a baby doesn’t produce peace, it produces stress. The baby is the most important factor so consider them in all decisions and don’t make selfish decisions just because you feel pressure. Take your time and think about how to move forward. 

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