“God doesn’t want you to understand what’s happening, He just wants you to trust the process.”
Last week, I did a Facebook live interview with the lovely Jhessica Renee where we discussed tips on being 100% single. It’s a shame that single these days has more than one meaning. Let me first break down the different levels of single. Some people call themselves single but they are actually in an on and off again relationship with their ex and waiting on them to call. Others call themselves single but they are really in an exclusive situationship without a title. Many say they’re single but they are going on dates with several different people because they are bored or they just enjoy the fun of dating. Then there are those single single individuals, who date absolutely no one, entertain absolutely no one, and have no intent on entertaining or dating anyone at the moment. That is the category I fall in and that is the category we discussed on Facebook live. Jhessica wanted me to give advice to the people watching about how to maintain that level of single. My main advice to everyone was “be still”.
In the bible, there are a few versus where God tells us to be still. They include…
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still
Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do no fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
Each verse has a different context so it can be confusing when you’re trying to figure out what God means when He tells you to “be still”. The reason I’m bringing God up in this conversation is because that is how I arrived at my level of single. If I’m being honest, it was never my choice to be single single. I was praying for God to do things like bring me my husband and make my career flourish and His answer to me was “be still”. When I first heard it, I was confused and somewhat annoyed because it didn’t make sense. I’m telling God I want to make moves and head towards the direction of husband and success but He is telling me to “be still”.
It sounded like maybe He didn’t get what I was saying or maybe I heard wrong so I prayed again. In prayer, I got the exact same answer. In regards to my finances, love life, and career, God said “be still”. For the past four months, I have been in my “be still” season and I finally understand what it means.
Trust God: Trust in the bible is mentioned several times. One popular verse says…
Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight.
Trusting God means not trusting yourself. Every person has their own plans and steps but God has an entirely different blueprint. The quicker we can abort our own plan and adopt God’s plan, the easier our lives will be. This is why the verse says “lean not on your own understanding”. God doesn’t want you to understand what’s happening, He just wants you to trust the process. Look at it like this, you trust your job with your wellbeing. You go to work 40 hours a week and trust that you will receive a direct deposit or check every week or every other week. If you didn’t trust them, you wouldn’t wake up early, brush your teeth, shower, drive in traffic, and deal with people you don’t like just to pay your bills. It’s not like your job pays you first. You work first, then get paid. They tell you what to do and you show up trusting that you’ll receive a check at the end of the week.
This is the level of trust God wants from us. He gave us the job but we tend to trust the job more than we trust Him. He wants us to pray, receive direction, do what He says to do, and expect the promise He has already given us just like we expect that paycheck.
Do what He says, not what you want: “Be still” doesn’t literally mean be still. This isn’t a season of you doing absolutely nothing. This is a season of you aborting your mission to take on God’s mission for your life. It is really a season of obedience. We have learned how to manipulate our lives so well that we actually think God is telling us to do some of the foolish things we do. We will tell God, not ask, but tell God what we want, it’ll show up, then we will praise God for it thinking it was something He told us to do. I’ll use myself as an example. When I was 24, I wanted to be a bottle girl. I wanted the job because of the money potential but also because I partied a lot so why not make a lot of money while partying. I prayed about it and the opportunity presented itself and I felt God had blessed me. Why would God bless me with a job where I drank every night, partied, smoked hookah, and subjected myself to horny men as I walked around with my butt exposed? God didn’t want that for me but I wanted it for myself so He allowed me to have it.
We must understand that we all have choices and the devil hears the same prayers that God hears. As soon as you pray, the devil will show up with something quickly that’ll throw you off and make you think it’s from God. The main way to figure out if it’s from God is asking yourself a simple question; can you put “in the name of Jesus” behind it?
“I got a job as a bottle waitress in the name of Jesus!”
“My ex who cheated on me and disrespected me finally came back saying he’ll change in the name of Jesus!”
“The job that I hate going to and sucks the life out of me just offered me more money to stay in the name of Jesus!”
You get my drift? We have to stop doing what feels right to us and start asking God for direction first. This is why He says “be still” because when you’re still, you’re able to hear Him clearly and you’re also unable to concoct our own plan.
Learning how to tell yourself no: Discipline will become your best skill when God says “be still”. Much of what God asks us to do isn’t what we feel like doing. 90% of it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar. When we are in uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory, our human instinct tells us to get out as quickly as possible but we can’t rely on human instinct in this season. You have to learn how to live without the things you want and learn to accept the things God wants for you. I know this sounds crazy because you’re probably thinking “Why would God make me uncomfortable and put me in a position I don’t like?” The answer is simple; growth. When you want a nice body, you go workout and at first it’s uncomfortable and some of the workouts are unfamiliar but the more you do it, the more it becomes second nature. Then you start seeing results and you think “this isn’t so bad”. The same goes for learning how to tell yourself no. God knows what’s best for us and He doesn’t want to harm us.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
We can only see so far in the future but God knows all things. The quicker we learn to follow Him instead of what we want, the quicker we can become equip for our future because He knows what we will need before we do. Learning how to say no to myself included times when I wanted to drink but saying “no, you’re going to waste money then oversleep and not do what you need to do.” Times when I wanted to quit blogging and go back to corporate but “no, you aren’t chasing money, you’re chasing purpose. You want peace and fulfillment, not just a check.” Discipline can be a hard muscle to build but it’s like your core, once you build it, it’ll strengthen everything else in your life as well.
You’re doing too much: Usually when God says “be still”, it’s because we are trying way too hard to do what God is supposed to do. Many times, we say we trust God but we keep trying to help God with what we said we trust Him with. You ever asked God to take care of your bills then as soon as you got up from that prayer you went through your house looking for something you could sell or a quick side hustle so you could pay that bill? That isn’t trusting God, that’s trusting self. When we trust God, we put all of our confidence in Him and we move out of the way and allow Him to do the thing that we can’t do. But too many of us have been successful at manipulating our lives for so long that we trust our own abilities over God’s abilities. Instead of truly casting our cares unto Him, we will say it in prayer but do the exact opposite in our actions. We will say “God I give this relationship over to you because I can’t bear it any longer. I trust you to do what needs to be done” then get out of the prayer and go text him or her telling them all the stuff they’re doing to ruin this relationship and how you’re praying for them. That’s not trusting God, that’s trusting self.
I heard this wonderful sermon about how we try to do too much when God wants to do the heavy lifting.
Zechariah 4:6 …not by might nor by power, but by Spirit says the Lord Almighty.
This means not by our own might or our own doings, but by the spirit of the Lord will it be done. Stop doing the heavy lifting and let God do it because you’re doing too much.
When God tells us to “be still”, it can be difficult, especially when you’re someone like me who needs to know everything. But the great thing about sitting still is that God gets to do all he heavy lifting while we just follow the path set out for us. The unknown can be tough to mentally accept but it brings peace and joy knowing that God is working on your behalf. This can be applied to all areas of your life as well. God wants us to live a prosperous life so the quicker we decide to “be still’, the better off our life will be. I hope this helps you understand more of how God moves in our life and what it means to “be still”.
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