“I am all about taking time to yourself and building your self-love, self-worth, and independence but never get it twist; I want the people following this blog to find love.”
Listen, I am all about taking time to yourself and building your self-love, self-worth, and independence but never get it twist; I want the people following this blog to find love. A good healthy love that they can run home and tell their friends and parents about. While singledom can be incredibly empowering and lead to great self-actualization, nobody’s going to shame you if you decide that you want to dip a toe in the world of dating once again. If you’ve been single for a while, however, you may find that the dating landscape has changed dramatically since you last entered this potential minefield. You could find your favorite L word, love; or you can find a more common L word, losers. If you’re wading into the waters of relationships in the (almost) 2020s, there’s a good chance that dating apps are part of the conversation. And while there are many who have found love through these digital dating places, it’s important to tread carefully if you’re to separate the darlings from the duds. Here are some tips for finding Mr or Ms Right…
Know Your Niche
While it’s great getting to know someone with a different attitude, outlook, culture or experiences, a strong relationship requires a little common ground. While there should be scope for you and your potential beau to help one another grow, it’s easier to bond when you have interests and passions that unite you. Whether you’re using a platform like Arablounge to find someone of a similar religious or cultural background or choosing a more niche dating site, you might find more luck with a niche rather than downloading a “smash app” like Tinder.
Learn to Spot Controlling Behaviors
Eagerness is fine. In fact, it can be kinda flattering if someone shows keenness to meet. But if they’re putting pressure on you to meet them within 24 hours that can be a seriously troubling sign for two reasons. Either they’re interested in nothing more than a booty call or they are prone to pushy and controlling behaviors. Let’s be honest, they could also be seeking to rob you or the other “r” word you. The world can be a scry place so please pace yourself before meeting up with a stranger.
Too Many Selfies
Take a look through your potential date’s profile. Are there photos of them in social situations or are they all selfies taken with studious control of angles, lighting etc.? While there’s nothing wrong with people taking selfies, too many might be a warning sign that they are prone to narcissism, or struggle with social skills. What’s more, if most or all of the images have clearly been digitally tweaked they clearly aren’t keen to provide a sincere and honest account of themselves online…and that could be an issue.
Beware of “Netflix and Chillers”
There’s nothing wrong with Netflix and chilling. It is actually one of my favorite pastimes. But when someone is asking for it on the first date, this could be a red flag. This is a stranger you have never met so inviting them to your home or going to their home is putting yourself in danger. Meet in a public place, even if it’s just a coffee shop or the mall. Someone asking to Netflix and chill is also a sign of a person who doesn’t want to court you. You’ll most likely be begging them to take you out on a real date the entire relationship.
Little or No Profile Text
It really doesn’t matter how super hot someone is if they don’t provide a little information to help you get to know them a little better. A lack of profile text can indicate a fake account and someone phishing with other people’s photos. Alternatively, it could mean that they are solely looks oriented and don’t feel that it’s important for people getting to know one another on a personal level. While it depends what you’re looking for, this is also not a great sign.
Most important of all, be safe! Always let someone know where you’re going and when to expect you back when meeting someone new. New phones also allow you to share your location with your friends so please utilize that feature. I wouldn’t be opposed to you sending their tag number and a picture of the guy or girl in your group chat. It sounds like overkill but it can save your life. All that in mind… have a great time!
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