I Thanked Him for Hurting Me | Single Women Chronicles

I Thanked Him for Hurting Me

by Wednesday, March 22, 2017

“What he took me through was fuel to turning my test into a testimony.”

Last week, I had the lousy pleasure of speaking to one of my exes. If you have read my new book “How to X Your Ex”, he goes by Mr.North Dakota. Around this time last year, he began to like a few of my pictures on Instagram. I was not surprised at all because exes will be exes and try to creep back into your life but I didn’t expect it from him. Especially after he had a whole new girlfriend whom he had left me for. Crazy how things work. Anywho, I just laughed at the likes and later forgot about it because I was in a relationship myself. Months later, my relationship ended and I removed all of my pictures from social media. Here comes Mr. North Dakota again liking my pictures. This time he took it a step further and followed me. Again, I laughed because this is a man who took me through hell and now was trying to creep back into my life without an apology. I know some of you may be thinking “dang, he just liked a picture” but it’s more complicate than that. You don’t contact a person in any way after leaving them for another woman and not even apologizing. We are not cool sir and I will not pretend that we are! Okay, I’m back now…Before this went any further, I decided to direct message him to see what his intentions were. I did not expect anything but I wanted to see what excuse he had for his social media appearance. The message read…

Hi, I noticed you have been liking my pictures and you followed me on 
Instagram. I am not sure what your intentions are but I would like to know 
why. We haven't spoken in almost three years so it is weird that you would 
make this appearance and try to creep back into my good graces. I would like 
to know your reasoning behind this
 because I am quite confused.

Surprisingly, he responded within a matter of seconds. He wrote an essay of lily cover lies and ebony colored excuses. Every time I tried to read one passage, another one came through. In short, he responded with a whole bunch of bs still not explaining what his intentions were. He did say that he just wanted to support me and wasn’t trying to come back into my life. Boy stop! What momma didn’t raise was a fool and if I would’ve allowed him to just like my pictures and follow me like we were cool, then the next thing would’ve been a few heart eyes under my photos and a “Hey big head” direct message. No, I am not conceited nor do I think that highly of myself to just know that he wants to be back in my life. I just know my enemies. I know his patterns and he has done this whole “shit on her then come back like nothing happened” routine so I am quite privy to his games. I was just hoping for an honest answer but I didn’t get one which shows nothing has changed. Again, I expected nothing but I did have to leave him with some kind words.

“You should never walk away from any breakup empty handed.”

Instead of calling him out for talking around the real subject and asking for an apology, I actually thanked him for hurting me. You see, before him, I wasn’t a blogger nor had I even thought to write a book. What he took me through was fuel to turning my test into a testimony. Without his pain, I never would’ve gotten to my breaking point and began to document my heartbreaks. He broke me down so much that there was no way I could let any other woman go through that same heartbreak without warning them. He contributed to this blog you’re reading. His no good ways motivated me to be the voice women need to hear when they’re going through their own heartbreak. You should never walk away from any breakup empty handed. You need to come out better. Wiser. Stronger. It should have pushed you to do something that you didn’t do before the breakup. Whether it be to be more fit or to start that business or to finish that degree. You should be able to thank everyone of your exes because that experience should make you better, not bitter. Be great! Let this pain fuel your fire to greatness and prove to yourself that you are better without them.

If you want to know the full story behind Mr. North Dakota or you want to know how to be better instead of bitter after your ex, then purchase How to X Your Ex now.

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