Contrary to popular belief, not everything is compromisable in a relationship, not even for Mr.Right.
I was listening to The Rickey Smiley Morning Show and they had a relationship coach on as a special guest. They were taking calls and one young lady called talking about her current boyfriend. She said “Hey you guys, I have been dating this guy for about two years and I think he’s the one but there are things he does that I don’t know if I can see myself dealing with for the rest of my life.” She continued to explain what her concerns were and they included her boyfriend not cleaning up after himself and also going out to clubs and bars at least five nights a week. The coach then responded “He sounds like a nice guy but he just isn’t the one for you. He is almost the one but now you need to leave him alone and go fine the one.” Tough words to hear but the coach made a great point. Before you start rationalizing about how the coach doesn’t know the full situation and how can she just tell her to leave a good man, let’s dig deeper.
So how can you compromise something that’s a deal breaker? The answer is YOU CAN’T!
Have you ever met someone and felt like they were the one? They had everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. They had a great spirit, loved God, were great with your family and friends, and they were extremely ambitious…but then came the big BUT. Many people are afraid of the BUT because often times that BUT is something that can’t be compromised; kind of like that young lady who called into the radio station. But not all BUTs are end all be alls. If the BUT is he snores or he dresses like an old man then these things can be compromised. On the flip side, if the BUT is he doesn’t want kids but you want a huge family, then what do you do? It seems that women have become accustomed to compromising each BUT because everything is comprisable, right? Contrary to popular belief, not everything is compromisable in a relationship, not even for Mr.Right. Many use the 80/20 rule to argue my point. The 80/20 rule says no one you ever meet will be perfect, 20 percent of them will be something that you don’t like. But the most important part of the 80/20 rule is the 20 percent must be something that isn’t on your list of deal breakers. A deal breaker is a trait about a person that can’t be overlooked or compromised; deal breakers cause people in businesses to withdraw from the transaction because it breaks the deal. So how can you compromise something that’s a deal breaker? The answer is YOU CAN’T! If you meet someone that has everything you want but that one extremely important thing on your list of deal breakers then guess what…the deal should be broken. Yes, you thought he was the one but unfortunately he is almost the one.
News flash, Mr.Almost Right can never be Mr.Right…you’re wasting your time.
We live in a society where the female to male ratio is highly unbalanced and men seek casual dating often times over serious commitments which leaves women in desperate dating situations. Because of this reality, many women have begun to compromise their uncompromisables and their deal breakers have become “just live with its”. But this doesn’t have to be you. Why would you wait so long to be in a committed relationship then take an oath before God and your family to marry someone who is almost the one? No one is perfect but there is definitely someone out there who is perfect for you. If you settle for Mr. Almost Right now, you will resent him later and the relationship will never reach the peak of happiness that you are looking for. You will always yearn for that missing strand and you will eventually get tired of trying to force that person to fit the mode of the Mr.Right you were looking for. News flash, Mr.Almost Right can never be Mr.Right…you’re wasting your time. Do yourself a favor and stop fighting to change him and just leave yourself single for your perfect match. Don’t let desperation leave you in a miserable, almost happy relationship. I have been there ladies, several times. I can’t lie, I definitely fought when I felt like he was almost the one because I knew that if I could just make him change that one thing that he would be perfect for me. But that one thing never changed because it was who he was. It was unfair to us both for me to try to change him because there was a woman out there that would love him just the way he was and there was a man out there for me who had all the things I wanted. So be patient, be strong, and don’t let desperation let you settle in an almost happy relationship just because he was almost the one.
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