Get That Dirty "D" Away From Me | Single Women Chronicles

Get That Dirty “D” Away From Me

by Friday, January 13, 2017

“NO! Don’t you touch me! GET THAT DIRTY D AWAY FROM ME! I Know you were with some broad last night and you got the nerve to be all up on me tonight. GET THAT DIRTY D AWAY FROM ME!”

Have you ever heard of the saying “Drunk minds tell sober thoughts?” Well that quote explains my entire dating nightmare I am going to share with you today…

It started when I began dating someone I had known for over a year. Initially, we would text each other once a month to make sure the other person was alive. I think our schedules were just out of control so we really didn’t have much time for one another. Well after a year, he told me his schedule had gotten lighter and he would like to take me on a date. I agreed because I could still remember how fine he was and I didn’t mind. Well after that date, we began to see each other all the time. Our once a month texts went to once an hour and we had a thing going on. It felt good getting to know him on that level because he was a great catch.

One month had past and we were still in our blissful stage. It was a Friday night and he told me he was going out with the boys. I told him to have fun and be safe but to text me when he got home. At 3AM I received a text saying

I'm coming over.

I responded okay and

Call me just in case I fall asleep before you get here.

I sat up watching tv trying not to fall asleep but he was taking forever. So at 3:30AM I decided to call him. He answered and said he was at the Waffle House waiting on food and would be there shortly. I told him to hurry up because I was sleepy. Well 4:10AM rolled around and he still hadn’t gotten there. I then called him again but he didn’t answer so I called two more times. He didn’t answer or call me back and I was heated. I had to talk the crazy woman in me down and remind myself not to jump to conclusions and just wait for an explanation. I then forced myself to sleep with all types of images in my head of what he could’ve been doing.


The next day, he called me around 10AM. I was very dry because I was waiting for an explanation. But just like most men do when they know they messed up, he acted like nothing had happened. After five minutes of small talk, I just flat out asked him what happened. His response was

“Man after I ate that Waffle House, I passed out.”

Say what now? You really had me waiting up for you and worried and that is the response you give me? I was heated but I told myself to play it cool and just take a mental note. I believe whatever is in the dark will come to light so I wouldn’t let this strike ruin what we were developing.

Later that night we went to MJQ, a popular underground nightclub in Atlanta. We had a great time and I got “white girl wasted” as Gucci Mane would say. It was time to leave and I guess that is when the blackout occurred because the last thing I remember is dancing in MJQ. I didn’t remember how we got back to his place or even falling asleep. I just knew I was safe among people I trusted so I just went way too far with the tequila. I woke up the next morning so confused. He was cuddled up behind me and I had on his t-shirt and basketball shorts. When he felt me get up he greeted me

“Good morning beautiful, you calmed down?”

Calmed down? What was he talking about. I then asked him

“What happened last night?”

Well apparently, my drunk self hadn’t gotten over Friday night so I told him how I felt when we got back to his place that previous night. He said that he tried to kiss me and I pushed him away and told him not to touch me and to go back to that bitch he was with Friday night. HE said he laughed it off and tried again and then that’s when I responded

“NO! Don’t you touch me! GET THAT DIRTY D AWAY FROM ME! I Know you were with some broad last night and you got the nerve to be all up on me tonight. GET THAT DIRTY D AWAY FROM ME!”

Embarrassed, all I could do was put my head under the covers while he laughed hysterically. Although I was acting like a crazy woman, it turned him on. Most men like their women a little psycho I guess. On top of that, I think “Get that dirty D away from me” is pretty hilarious and should be put on a shirt.

The moral of this story is, don’t pretend to be okay with something when you’re really not. Find a way to tell that person calmly before you get drunk and it turns into an episode of Drunk and Hip Hop.

If you like this post, please subscribe to my newsletter below.

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Facebook Comments

No Comments Yet.

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *