Saved and Single | Single Women Chronicles

Fighting Distractions While Saved and Single

by Wednesday, October 17, 2018

“We must remember than Got gives us the desires of our heart. He will never NOT deliver on his promises.”

If you are like me, you are waiting on God to send your Boaz, Daniel, or Joseph. (Men reading this are waiting on their Proverbs 31 woman or their Ruth.) But let’s be honest, it can feel tortuous waiting on God for your mate because God’s timing and our timing are totally different. Many of us lose hope and end up coping with single with distractions. Instead of focusing on God, you may party, date multiple people at once, or work yourself to death to avoid focusing on your loneliness. But that isn’t why God intended us to be single. During this season, we are to be focused on Him and His work in us because He wants to get us to our destiny. We tend to lose sight of that because we are too busy looking at everyone on social media with a boo and yelling “Why me Lord?! Why am I always single?!” I get it, trust me I do, because I am in the same boat but I trust God too much to give up on my wait. If I’m being honest, I have never felt so much peace in my life. It all came from shifting my perspective from flesh to God. It wasn’t an easy task but I knew that if I was going to grow in this season of saved and single, I was going to need to stay encouraged. I could only do that by remaining in God’s word and understanding why I am doing what I am doing.

Because I didn’t grow up in church but built my relationship with God in my adult life, I needed some major convincing that doing it God’s way was right for me. I found all that I needed in scripture. Every feeling that overtook me, God had an answer for it. Don’t believe me, cool, I’ll show you. Here are the scriptures that keep me going on my saved and single journey.

“God, I really want a husband/wife but I have been single for so long. Am I meant to be single forever although I want this so badly?

Psalm 37:4-5 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.

We must remember than Got gives us the desires of our heart. He will never NOT deliver on his promises. As Isaiah 55:11 says, God’s word will never return unto Him void. The issue is, we lose hope and stop trusting which leads to ignoring His guidance. When we disobey, He can’t deliver because we get out of position to receive the blessing. He gives us free will so when He gives us direction, we have to follow it in order to get what He has promised. Think of it like a GPS. The GPS can tell you where to go but it is up to you to listen. If you don’t, then you end up lost or in a place you were never supposed to be. Then the GPS has to recalculate ,which takes longer, in order to get you back where you were supposed to be.

“What am I supposed to be doing while I’m single?”

John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given unto you as well.

The closer you get to God, the easier it is for you to stand firm and live in Him. This means more directions so you aren’t confused, more peace so you aren’t sad while you wait, and more hope for your future marriage.

“But God, I hate being single. I just want someone for me.”

1 Timothy 6:6-8 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing in the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

I always say if you have being single, that is exactly what you should be. Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee happiness. If you are not pleased while single, chances are you won’t be pleased while in a relationship either. You must find contentment in every season of life.

“God I don’t understand.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thought than your thoughts.

God told us to trust, not understand. He thinks so differently than us so we have to stop searching for understanding because our feeble brains can never think exactly like Him. Instead of asking for understanding, we should be praying for wisdom, patience, and contentment.

“What we must understand is the devil hears the same prayers we say to God.”

“God, when will it be my time?”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down, and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…

I didn’t write the full scripture but you get it. There is a time and season for everything. Maybe right now you should be healing from past situations so you won’t jeopardize your future marriage. Maybe you need to be focused on that career so you will go in your marriage financially stable because financial issues are the number one cause for divorce. Maybe you need to be focusing on your full level up so God can send you that person you never thought you could qualify for. This is why we must remain close to the vine because when we lose focus on God, we focus on our circumstances and fail to see how God is trying to guide us.

“God, I know you told me to be single but this guy/girl seems to be a great catch. Why can’t I date them?”

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

What we must understand is the devil hears the same prayers we say to God. If God has told you to be single, He meant it. As soon as you try to grow close in His word, please believe the devil will send a pretty distraction that fits all the criteria you have been praying for. Then you get side tracked and you don’t even ask God because deep down, you already know God says be single but you are just worried about satisfying your flesh. But remember, you are looking for a God choice, not a good choice.

“God, I am tired of seeing these folks do whatever they want and be in happy relationships. I’m about to do it too because it’s not fair!”

Proverbs 19:2 Desire without knowledge is not good, how much more will hasty feet miss the way!

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

First of all, we don’t really know what’s actually going on inside these relationships. We are just seeing the cute social media pictures, we don’t know the real deal. Second of all, we are supposed to be obedient and faithful not to receive a reward of a good mate, but because we love God that much. We have to stop treating God like a sugar daddy that will reward us with our wants just because we ask. He has been far too good to us just to praise Him in hopes of receiving something.

“When God is telling you to wait, it isn’t because He likes seeing you suffer, it is because He loves you too much to allow you to go into any situation incomplete.”

“God, why do I have to resist sex if everyone is ding it. Even married couples are having open marriages.”

1 Corinthians 7: 2-5 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. The you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I was so excited about this scripture because it shuts down all the silly myths about people saying God wants men to have multiple wives. I am about to go deeper, stay with me. The Old Testament spoke of the covenant God made with Moses when the world was a little different and people were living for hundreds of years because the population was scarce. During this time, people did have multiple wives but God didn’t tell them to, that was the culture man created. Once Jesus died on the cross and rose again, a new covenant began new rules were set which is the New Testament. New Testament says ONE WIFE AND ONE HUSBAND. This is a whole blog in itself but the point is, stop listening to these fools who don’t know the word, they just Google scripture and use it out of context to support their madness. Celibacy is great at improving self-control. It is very easy not to be tempted or to resist temptation in a marriage if you have been celibate in your single season. It also helps you hear God clearer because God really doesn’t like sexual immortality and it will put a huge strain on the relationship between you and Him.

“God, I have grown and I am a great catch. What more do I have to do to prove to you that I am ready for love?”

James 1:4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Would you prefer a half built house or a finished home? Would you prefer half-done chicken or fully cooked, crispy chicken? Would you prefer potential or the complete package? When God is telling you to wait, it isn’t because He likes seeing you suffer, it is because He loves you too much to allow you to go into any situation incomplete. He wants you to have the best and in order for that to happen, you must be your best. I don’t know about you but I would much rather go into a marriage financially stable, mentally secure, and emotionally resilient. I don’t want to be a fixer upper, I want to be top notch and you should too.

Being single is all about perspective and I hope I shifted a lot of perspective with this post. I can write this because these are the scriptures that help me. While I write this, I am ministering to myself. Just understand that God’s primary characteristic is love, not control. He loves you so much and He wants you to be the best and have the best and He can only provide that if you trust Him and allow Him to guide you. We are all in the fight and we are already victorious because we are more than conquerors in Christ.

If you enjoyed this post, be sure to comment and share this. I hope it truly blessed you like it blessed me.

 

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