Cracking the Myth of Marriage: What Really Changes When You Say “I do”


By: Ashlee Kelly of Pinkgumbeaux.com

Hey guys, it’s me again! Ashlee, your resident marriage and relationship expert with only a year or so of marriage under my belt… Anyway, it seems as if a lot of people are fearful of marriage because of the perceived changes. For me, it hasn’t been so tough which is likely because we aren’t a super dramatic couple so walk with me through a list of things that have changed and stayed the same.

Change: As soon as I said I do, I got an influx of new family and friends. There are events, family reunions and large amounts of people I have to get to know and they have to get to know me but people are not my strong suite, I have boundaries on top of boundaries with trust issues so it’s still a struggle. Husband has fared well but he’s super easy going, I don’t have such a big family and all of my friends are just like me. Pray for me.

The Same: We still date and love our mini road trips. Likely because we still consider each other a priority and don’t have any kids, pets or plants blocking us.

Change: I am starting to develop some wifely traits, if you will. I loathe the traditional wife. I have worked to build a career and am obtaining a PhD on the side so I don’t care to be in the kitchen, clean or do anything else people think wives should be doing but I have a husband who accepts me for who I am and caters to me so I can’t help but reciprocate. Him being sick and having to wait on him hand and foot made me realize I should be doing it more often. He deserves it.

The same: We still are mostly unhealthy. Barely exercise, barely eat well, barely drink water but we about that snack life, staying up too late to watch movies and dragging to work in the morning. *shoulder shrug*


Change: We are becoming unapologetically ourselves. I think this may be a combination of marriage and age. I don’t care to do much of what I don’t want to or impress people. As long as he and I are good, not much matters… Who gone check me boo?

So there, don’t be so scared of marriage. Take your time when dating, accept your mate (or future mate) for who they are, compromise, and have fun. Relationships can be fun, you know? Enough of this soft stuff.

If you need me, I’ll be at pinkgumbeaux.com being passive aggressive and causing trouble. Peace!

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