“Most men who break hearts don’t care about the woman enough to change while they’re in the relationship so why would they care once it’s over?”
I wish I had a penny for every Instagram post or overheard conversation of a woman saying something along the lines of “he’s going to miss me when I’m gone” or “he just lost the best thing he ever had”, I would at least be a thousandaire. Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is a great mindset to have if you just went through an unwanted break up but it shouldn’t be your only source for healing. Too many women leave men that broke their hearts in hopes that the man won’t know what they had until it was gone. NEWS FLASH…you’re all wrong. Most men who break hearts don’t care about the woman enough to change while they’re in the relationship so why would they care once it’s over? Absence does hurt men sometimes but never leave a man just because you hope it’ll teach him a lesson, leave because you love yourself enough to know that you deserve better.
Growing up, I was queen of the “leave him to torture him” club and for a while I was successful. My dating pattern was date a guy for about three months then realize that he sucked then dump him and wait for him to come crawling back. The funny part is, most of them did come crawling back asking for second chances and I was able to laugh in their face and tell them to go play in traffic. I thought I had the game on lock until I didn’t. I met my match in the summer of 2014. I met what I thought was an awesome catch. He was very attractive, great job, educated, owned a home, and we had a lot in common. We hit it off very well until he decided he wasn’t ready for what I was ready for. I was of course saddened by his silly decision because I knew I was what he needed. But I told myself it was cool because he’d be back. Well weeks turned into months and months turned into a year and he never came crawling back. At that moment I realized that I could no longer use him regretting the loss of such a great woman as a healing strategy, I had to learn how to heal properly.
Maybe your story isn’t like mine. Maybe you’ve been with someone for years and held them down but they still broke your heart so you know that they’re going to regret it. Well what if they still don’t care? All I want women and men both to understand is that being good to someone won’t force them to feel bad for their ill-treatment of you. You must move on knowing that you’re great but not everyone will recognize that. Be great for you, not to prove it to someone else. I wrote this today because it was in my spirit and I felt like someone needed to hear it. Don’t depend on your ex to start your healing process, start it on your own because being a great catch won’t automatically make someone regret losing you.