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Attractive Male Syndrome

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Have you ever met a man who just knew he was fine as hell? A man who had an extreme level of self-confidence that exuded through his soul. You don’t even have to tell this man that he’s fine because if you did his response would probably be a grin or a quick lick lip then an “I know baby.” Okay I may be exaggerating on that response but I am sure you can picture the type of man I am referring to. I dated a man like this once and it was like being on a dating show. I felt like I was in constant competition with myself because he just required way too much. I told myself I was never dating his kind again because “ain’t nobody got time for that!” I call this ridiculous level of assholeness “Attractive Male Syndrome”. To possess this syndrome, you don’t have to be attractive; you just have to think you are. If you’re wondering if you have this syndrome or if you’re dating a man with this syndrome, continue reading so I can give you a few symptoms of “Attractive Male Syndrome”.

Constant Critiques: When I was dating Mr. Attractive Male Syndrome, he was always critiquing me! I felt like I was Cinderella preparing for the ball because I was never perfect. It was always “maybe you should keep your hair this way” or “maybe you should eat a little healthier because you don’t want to be fat 10 years from now” or “maybe you should put your shoulders back when you eat to help better your posture” or “maybe you should shave your legs in the winter.” Suggestions are nice but maybe you should date someone else if you always have something to say about what I have going on. Ladies if you have a man like this then you’ll NEVER get it right so stop trying! Get you an ugly man or an ugly acting man because he’s suffering from a case of Attractive Male Syndrome.

Enormously High Appearance Expectations: I love to dress cute and wear heels, makeup, and a nice pushup bra but only if I am going somewhere. I refuse to waste a good outfit on a whack venue or on your mother’s living room. When I dated Mr. Attractive Male Syndrome, he expected me to look like Beyoncé 24/7 while he wore white V-necks and basketball shorts. We didn’t even go on many dates but he always wanted me in my Sunday’s best even if we were just sitting on the couch all evening. I’m sorry but I’m a country girl so you’re lucky if I take my hair out of my wrap if I’m just coming to your house. I’m not letting condensation hit these natural roots just because you want me to be Tyra Banks for your living room audience. Simple things like punctuality, loyalty, and honesty was what I was offering but that wasn’t enough, Mr. Attractive Male Syndrome wanted me in Mac, Louboutins, and fresh BIC shaved legs at all times. If your man sets certain levels of unreachable expectations then he may have the syndrome.

Constant Tests: The issue with men who have this syndrome is that they feel it is a privilege to be with them so you need to constantly prove that you’re worthy so there will always be a test. While dating Mr. Attractive Male Syndrome, he would always throw things at me and see how I responded and if I passed, we were cool but if I failed, I would get the silent treatment and a ticket to his ass kiss fest before I could re-enter into his presence. He would ask me random absurd questions like “If I was drowning and your dog was drowning, who would you save?” and me thinking it was a joke would say something like “Duh! My dog because you can just float” and he would get upset! This would last until I kissed his ass long enough to get in his good graces. It was just ridiculous because I didn’t realize I was being tested until after I had already failed! No one should have to be constantly tested in any relationship because either you want me for me or you need to find someone who fits your criteria. If you feel that you’re always fighting to prove you’re worthy, then say bye to Attractive Male Syndrome having Keith and get you a Jaquan because ghetto men appreciate a good woman!

These are only a few examples to this syndrome but I am sure that several ladies can relate. Some women can handle a man with this syndrome because they may have Attractive Woman Syndrome and that’s just a match made in hell. But for my ladies going through this and it’s getting to be too much to handle, get out now because it won’t change until he has changed you.

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