5 Ways to Get Approached by More Men


“But in this post, I want to help you increase the likelihood of being approached by men you actually like.” 

Do men still approach women?

YES! I know you may feel this is false due to your reality but, men are still approaching women. I know social media and dating apps have made men more socially awkward than ever but there are still men who will walk up to you and introduce themselves in public. I feel women get approached more than they’d like to admit but we have a tendency to ignore the men who we don’t want. Those men typically approach everyone and have no shame in their game. But in this post, I want to help you increase the likelihood of being approached by men you actually like.

I have this really popular post Men Don’t Approach Women Like You where I explain why men may be attracted to you but won’t approach you. It’s very informative so definitely check it out. Everything in that post is still relevant but this is for the woman who thinks she has lost her mojo. You may be feeling hopeless in love, especially after the pandemic, and you just want to feel wanted. You want to feel desired and you’d like to meet a man that could possibly lead to something serious. Maybe you’re shy so you don’t approach men. Or maybe you’re like me and you like the old fashion way of being courted. Either way, I want to give you a few pointers on how to get approached by more men.

 Think positively about dating…

The biggest barrier in a lot of women’s life is their thought life about dating. I know because I was trapped by my negative thinking patterns on dating for years. I had so many negative dating experiences that even when I met someone, I’d plan for the end at the beginning. The self-sabotage was real and I was constantly living my self-fulfilling prophecy. Then I would ruminate on how horrible dating was and how I only meet one guy a year that I actually connect with and blah blah blah. Our thoughts shape our actions which shape our life. In order to have better results, we have to have better thought lives. Stop saying “dating sucks” and start telling yourself “Dating is amazing, I’m just waiting to meet the right man”. I know reading it almost made you gag but fake it until you make it. Once I started thinking more positively about dating, I started attracting more men. It’s strength in numbers so the more men you attract, the more likely you are to meet a great match.

Care about your appearance…

I’ve heard the saying “Men are visual creatures” my whole life but I’m going to disagree somewhat. Yes, men are visual creatures but aren’t women too? I don’t know about you but I love seeing a beautiful black man walking by me. I love it even more when he is dressed well and smells good. When I see Kofi Siriboe on Instagram I close my eyes and envision what he smells like. That man is fine! Okay back to the subject. If you want to be approached more, understand that looks do matter. I’m not telling you to wear heels and makeup everyday because I don’t even do that. I am saying put some effort in your appearance. I only wear makeup when I go to special events but I care greatly about my skin and hair. Those 2 things are always on point. I also hate wearing heels and being super dressy because I love comfort but my comfortable clothes are still cute. Don’t change yourself but do show up as your best self. When you look good you feel good and that goes a long way. Confidence is sexy and the right man loves a confident woman. Be confident in your appearance and the rest will speak for itself.

Make eye contact…

Yesterday, I was walking into Starbucks and I saw this beautiful man sitting down. He literally put down his reading material to stare at me for a good 30 seconds as I walked by him. And what did my nervous awkward behind do? Stared straight ahead avoiding eye contact. I’m still kicking myself because he was beautiful and I know I could’ve gotten him to approach me if I just looked at him. So ladies, eye contact goes a long way. I struggle with this because I’m awkward but I’m aware that men fear rejection so they look for signs of interest. One of the main signs that a woman is interested is eye contact. If you look at a man and smile, there’s a 90% chance that if he’s single and attracted to you, he will approach you. (Don’t quote this statistic, I made it up but I know it does increase your chance of being approached.)

Go outside…

Stop complaining about the men you attract or the men you don’t attract if you never go to the places the men you want frequent. I’m sorry ladies but men aren’t in your house, at the yoga studio, at the grocery store, or nail salon. They’re most likely at a cigar bar, football game, or at a business conference. Again, it’s strength in numbers so you have to get in front of more eyes to be chosen. I get it, Covid is real and you prefer your house. But if you actually want to be approached, you have to go outside. Even if you wear a mask, men will still approach you. I think they find it mysterious or something but either way, you have to go outside to meet people. (Dating apps are an option but check out I’m Tired of Being Single! Should I Use a Dating App? to see if dating apps are a fit for you.)

Focus on Your Growth…

Out of all the tips listed, this one changed my dating experience the most. Once I stopped being obsessed with finding someone and shifted my focus to operating at my fullest potential, men started coming from left and right. Again, men love a confident woman. Especially a woman who is secure within herself and has a life of her own. The only man who wants an insecure and needy woman is an insecure and needy man. Once you get focused on yourself, the right men will find that extremely valuable because he will see you as an asset. It’ll also help you stop ruminating over the fact that you’re single. Shift your focus to the thing you know you’re supposed to be working on. Maybe it’s writing a book or finding a therapist to heal from past trauma or fitness goals. These are all things you can control so get to it. Once you begin to focus on being your best self, you can attract a man who will meet you where you are or where you’re going.

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